Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Pursuing Joy. Choosing Hope.

Hello Friends. It has been to long.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we've been experiencing some tough things around here. And to be honest, blogging about the joy in our days just didn't feel right, when I've spent most of the last 2 weeks just trying to remember how to breathe.

But I'm here now. 
For Me.
For You.
For Moving Forward.

And now it's time to share.
{breathe in, breather out}
 Our oldest son was recently admitted to an inpatient behavioral health program. He will be there for an indefinite amount of time.
We do not know when or if he will be able to return home. 
{breathe in breathe out}

We saw this coming. 
The writing was on the wall. 
But that has not made it any easier.
It is a nightmare.

{I'm going to take a moment to ask you to, please, not try to minimize this event by pointing out that he was adopted & that he had a better life with us than he would have other wise. HE'S MY SON. The End.}
Before today, you knew the basics about my lil' fam: 
I am married to the man of my dreams. 
 I am the mother of 5 boys. 
We had our oldest 2 through fostercare adoption.
We had our youngest 3 biologically.
We like to celebrate.

That is all I let you seen. 
Because, that is what I want to remember. 
I want to live joy, choose joy, remember joy.

But that is going to change.
We are now in the midst of a journey that will not be forgotten. 
A journey that demands to be noticed.

And joy is harder to find.
And hope is a constant choice.
{breathe in, breather out}
So...
Why am I sharing our family secrets on the "big world wide web"?
Why am I telling you his story?
Because I know what it feels like to be alone.
Because I know I am not alone
Because while this is his story...it is my story too. 

So I'm gonna get back to blogging.
Pursuing Joy in our days and documenting it as much as I can.
And every once in a while I'm gonna go here. 
I'm gonna let you see inside the not so pretty parts of these days...because even in these dark spaces, hope can be found...and  how can I not share that with you?
I will NEVER give up Hope.
Never Ever.

"For we have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul...FIRM & SECURE..."
Hebrews 16:9

**I took the above photo's of our son & his room the day before his latest episode...the day before he was admitted to the inpatient program...I am not sure why I wandered up there for the little photo shoot...but I'm glad I did...I want to remember the little boy in the middle of all of this...because at the end of the day he is just a little boy...a little boy with a broken heart...and I want you to remember that too.**

Thursday, April 3, 2014

In like a lion out like a lamb


March can be summed up like this...
 Can you believe these pics were all taken in the same month?! 
Jersey weather is WHACK!
{Seriously. If it snows again...}

Ironically, life here has been very similar to the local weather. ..
WHACK!
Lots of fun, lots of hard, lots of laughing, lots of crying, lots of donuts {you know it!}, lots of cuddling, lots of intentional, lots of lots of LIFE!

If you follow me on Instagram {hidden_cupcakes} then you saw that yesterday was NOT a good day around here. 
I hate being all cryptic, but at this point I'm not ready to share all the details.
Still...sometimes just knowing that you aren't alone on a bad day is helpful...and even more helpful is to remember that a bad day does not equal a bad life.
I hope to be able to encourage you toward that end...because being alone can be the WORST!

So: 
CHEERS to bad days...for reminding us how good, the good days are
CHEERS to bad days...not lasting forever
CHEERS...to the hope of tomorrow
CHEERS...CHEERS...CHEERS!

And fret not if it's another month before I get to post on here...just living life...and getting caught up in it. It's all good!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

making friends and sharing spaghetti


Oh these boys. 

Thing 3 has been hard at work making friends this year.
{His first year of Elementary School}
 And we do our best to have playdates when we can. 
And then when we do, to make the most of them...because I am that mom who says "no" often...so when I do say "yes" I like to go all in. 

{Confession: It's just as fun for me. One playdate they were spies and I was the "evil professor" and we had a mini marshmallow war that took over the entire house. It was awesome.}

So on these special days when I say "yes", nothing makes my heart happier than to see him climbing around with his friends acting like a total goofball, building ramps from scrap lumber, and eating spaghetti dinners outside with his buddies all by themselves....feeling so grown. 

Our default "1st born". With his big heart. His abundant confidence. And wild fun imagination. 
As far as his lot in our crew...it's not always easy. But he wears it so well...and I love seeing what a little man he is becoming. 
{And I love that other little boys his age are just as LOUD as he is. Phew!}


Cheers to new friends and spaghetti dinners! May we have many more nights that mirror this one!

Monday, March 17, 2014

No Irish but still celebrating

Don't get pinched.
Wear your Green.
As you know, we like to party around here. So any excuse will do. 
And I love a theme...

I told the boys if they didn't wear green people were allowed to pinch them all day long. 
They thought that was the funnest tradition E-VER. 
{yes I wore green...i bruise easily)

Aside from the greenery that we wore, I kept it kinda simple. 
A rainbow trail in the morn that led to a leprechaun-y surprise, and shamrock shakes in the eve. 

I used to think that as they got older they would outgrow all my parties. 
Wrong.
{next year I'm gonna have to go a little bigger because everyone noticed that there wasn't the usual silly note and mischievous leprechaun treasure hunt that we've always had in the past.}
I love it.

Friday, March 7, 2014

a party for the non-schoolers

 What do you mean V-day is over?
Way overdo or not...you are being subjected to a Valentines post...because this blog is gonna be a photo book and these kiddos were just to cute to not remember this little party.
Coop loves V-day and has since been giving out hugs and kisses as rewards...but first he makes either an "x" or an "o" with his fingers to let us know which is coming our way. 

Kid v-day party memories: stickers everywhere // more sweets than any child needs // coffee and talking with friends // the PURE JOY of the kids when they handed out and received Valentines // one little dude who sat contentedly at the table for quite a while after everyone else had left...eating as much as he possibly could // Scotch Eggs // someone else took the pictures // Coop waiting by the window then hiding under the table // snow snow snow // hearts hearts hearts // xoxoxo

*Photo credit to Lorraine Hebler of Grateful Prayer Thankful Heart

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Birthday overnight-ing with heels in the city

4 years ago myself and 3 other fabulous ladies made a vow:
Recognizing a shared love for all things fabulous we made a commitment to make time to enjoy some "fabulous" together, one night each month, heels required. 

This simple promise has grown to be much more than a "night to dress up and feel like a woman."
It is now also a night to catch up with dear friends, share our hearts, & hold each other accountable towards joy.
{Heels are still required, always.}

Life is so busy, with the raising of children and running of homes, that friendships these days take quite a bit of dedication. 
But dedicated we are...and I need never fear loosing these cherished relationships...because no matter what life is throwing our way...we always have heels night. 
One night a month...indefinitely.

Last month, the OLDEST of our group celebrated her birthday.
{Wink. Wink. Love me!}
And lucky us, we were able to celebrate her with a fabulous overnighter in the city!

As you will see, it was a weekend for the books and one we will NEVER forget. 

{Prepare yourselves for a ridiculous amount of pictures}
A weekend for the books. 

Happy Birthday to you Rachel. 
You are cherished. 

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