Thursday, February 4, 2016

NOT again...

I took these pictures 19 days ago during our 36 hour stay at a crisis unit, waiting for our 2nd oldest to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
He asked me to.
I'd been here before.
But you know that.
And I agree with you, it's not fair.
It seemed unfair when we went through this with our oldest…and seems extra unfair for it to be happening again!
With another child.

But it's not the same.
It's NOT happening again.
This guy gets to come back home to us.

And we are all so excited.
Because we've missed him so much!
And also a little bit nervous.
Because the last month or so before he left things weren't what they should be.
But we have SO much hope.
Because we have some answers, and a plan, and lots of support.

So we're just gonna sit here and wait to go run and greet him…any minute now!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Howdy strangers

Holy Moley...
It has been nearly 3 months since my last post!
I just haven't been feeling it.
Eb and flow…or so the saying goes.

But now.
Now i'm feeling it and I have SOOOO much to catch up on.
{woot! woot!]

So here's to the holidays just past and the ones ahead.
And birthdays 
And day trips
And to catching up and getting back to it!

Now I'm off to pretend it's cold outside and do something festive.
Missed you!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Getting to love

It has been 1 year, 4 months and 23 days since I last tucked in my boy and kissed him good night.
1 year, 4 months and 23 days since I was able to give him a hug without scheduling it first.
1 year, 4 months and 23 days since that fateful day.

We are currently in the the act of moving forward.
Faced daily with the choice to be defeated by this life or to embrace it with joy. 
{I don't always choose joy}

I am a mama with a broken heart.
Living out the worst case scenario.
When all the "what if's" become your reality.

So why?
Why do I advocate so passionately for others to foster adopt?
Why would I ask others to take such a great risk with their own lives when this is how ours turned out?

The answer is simple.
Because I get to love him. 
I get to be his mother.
I get to know a deep, fierce, intense love that endures no matter what.
A love that daily overwhelms me and fills me with gratitude.
I am blessed to know such a love.
To have fought for such a love
To never stop fighting for that love.

People get so caught up in the act of saving the child that they miss out on the chance to love them.
We need to change the way we think about foster care and adoption.

Fost/adopting is not about bettering the life of a child.
Fost/adopting is about getting to love a child.
About that child getting to be loved.

These children do not need hero's. 
They need love.
And we need to see how lucky we are to be the ones who get to love them. 

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Finally Fall & Celebrating again

We celebrated the first day of fall in the most traditional way...

I've raised these boys to celebrate life. 
Be it little everyday accomplishments or the changing of the seasons…there are so many reasons to celebrate…so many places to find joy.

These boys have, are, and will continue to live through things that the majority of their peers {heck, my peers too} will never understand. 
And that gives them even more opportunities to see why life is not to be taken for granted.
They have seen and experienced intense pain. 
They know, better then most that, joy is a choice.
So we look for joy everywhere we can find it.
So that when we face those hard moments, we know that despite it all, this life is full of reasons to celebrate. 

So we celebrated the first day of fall, in all its glory. 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Ohio State Fair

The end of Day 2...
When in Ohio in August.
You do the Ohio State Fair. 
And you love it. 
And if you're super lucky you ride on the skyline at the end of the evening and get a surprise fireworks show!
And then maybe you're 5 year old will say when you're walking to your car:
{like the youngest girl in Despicable Me when she gets her big fluffy unicorn}

Yeah. It was awesome. And we were pretty lucky. 

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Celebrating Mo {take 2}

The "after party"...
 Didn't I tell you it was gonna be awesome?!

So…while we were setting up MoMo's "surprise party", Daddy took Mo exploring to kill some time.
That's when they found a shallow river with a tiny damn. 
Perfect for wading and splashing and rolling around with your big brothers.
Perfect for celebrating that you are now 2.

And that's exactly what we did.
Best 2 year old after party, ever.