Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Perspective from Bedrest "ing"...


I'm making the choice to be the "life of the party"...from my bed...or easy chair...or sofa...

On June 5th, after another overnight stay at the Hospital, I was officially placed on "modified bed rest".
Sigh...
This means that apart from using the "potty room", showering, or switching locations...I am supposed to keep my feet up and my rear down.

I am sure there are those who would say "Enjoy it while you can before the newborn..." or "You should consider this a blessing..."
To them I want to say, "PHOOEY! You have obviously never been confined to a chair."
I have felt: useless, naggy, lost, replaceable, bored, sad, and in the way.
The silliest things are making me cry and I struggle with self-pity parties...

Eww...
I can not spend the next 6 weeks on this downward spiral. My family can not spend the next 6 weeks like this....
Time to make a choice.
Q: Who do I want to be in this situation?
A: I want to be the life of the party! I am still fun, Tracey...minus the bouncing.

How am I going to maintain this "joyous-ness" you ask?

For one, Perspective: In the last few days I have concluded the following:
  • I do a whole stinking lot! Not just the norm house work and kid work (though that is plenty)...I am pretty social...I create...I plan and GO ON fun adventures with my kids...I try to help others when I can...I drive a ton...
  • I should not have spent so much time feeling guilty for the times I did sit down.
  • I like being in control of this small little world I have running here
  • I have an amazing husband and amazing friends...filling in, in every way possible.
  • It could be worse, I could have to pee in a pan!
  • In the grand scheme of life, 6 weeks is not that long.
  • At the end of all this...WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

For second, Choice: I don't want to be the poop of the party, I want to be the life.

For third, Prayer: I am giving this one up...not entirely sure what that means, but I do know that this is out of my hands. So, when I feel those "blues" moving in...I'm choosing to pray. To say to God "I'm going to trust you...its all yours". Because really, it is His whether or not I acknowledge it, so why fight it? (I say that admitting that there are MANY things I still hold on to in vain)

So I say again:

I'm making the choice to be the "life of the party"...from my bed...or easy chair...or sofa...

4 comments:

  1. sniff*
    i empathize with your feelings. i know that God smiles when He hears your trusting heart.

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  2. Honey, I don't think anything could keep you from being the life of the party. We'll just have to bring the party to you!

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  3. For you to come to a screeching halt must be frustrating. You bring a smile to my face, even while at rest! Praying for you to feel loved and happy.

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Thank you for the note!