Friday, May 16, 2014

making plans and finding peace

Finally FRIDAY!
The state visited our home this week.
For the first time since we finalized our adoption 5 years ago. 
{insert Jaws music here}

I was holding my breathe all weekend in anticipation of this visit. 
Our experiences in dealing with the "state" in the past have been frustrating to say the least. Plus now, we are the parents...and I honestly have no real trust in this system. 
I expected them to show with the intent of looking for ways to blame us for our sons "condition".
{maybe part of that has to do with my own struggles in this area...not going there today}

Irrational fear was taking over, despite my husbands ever present voice of reason. 
{He is so stinkin' reasonable. Its awesome.}

So once I again, here I was faced with a choose...give in to the fear or hold on to the truth. 
The truth that I have covered my walls with...literally. 

Gonna have to be honest I totally wavered. I went back and forth all weekend trying to get my heart and head on the same page. 

But God is good. He loves me even when I waver. And he held me close while she was here...and when she left I wept & thanked him for the STATE!

YEP! You read that correctly, I am THANKFUL FOR THE STATE!
 I'm still a little hesitant, but so far...the state has been nothing but wonderfully supportive and incredibly resourceful.
I will be leaning on them heavily as we move forward...not just for "Thing1's" healing but for all of our healing. In home services are available for our whole crew. And they tell me those services are now available for life.
{And Lord knows we all need some counseling to help us get through this.}

So today we have some answers and some direction and lots and lots of hope as we start to make plans for the future.
And my heart has some peace.
It's a good day.

**I'm assuming that ya'll know what I'm talking about when I refer to "the state". But just in case...I'm referring to the states system in place {within each state} to care for the needs of children: from foster care to behavioral services. In NJ it's known as DYFS {enter JAWS music again...}. But each state has it's own title. Still, they all pretty much operate under the same basic principles.**

PS-Just had a tought...I've been sharing a bit of our journey on Instagram these if you wanna fallow along you can find me at hidden_cupcakes. Toodles!


  1. I know this isn't facebook- but I super like!!

  2. HI!

    Words of wisdom and comfort. "Test me, O Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind, for Your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in Your truth. Psalm 26:2-3

    Love You,


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