Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Getting to love

It has been 1 year, 4 months and 23 days since I last tucked in my boy and kissed him good night.
1 year, 4 months and 23 days since I was able to give him a hug without scheduling it first.
1 year, 4 months and 23 days since that fateful day.

We are currently in the the act of moving forward.
Faced daily with the choice to be defeated by this life or to embrace it with joy. 
{I don't always choose joy}

I am a mama with a broken heart.
Living out the worst case scenario.
When all the "what if's" become your reality.

So why?
Why do I advocate so passionately for others to foster adopt?
Why would I ask others to take such a great risk with their own lives when this is how ours turned out?

The answer is simple.
Because I get to love him. 
I get to be his mother.
I get to know a deep, fierce, intense love that endures no matter what.
A love that daily overwhelms me and fills me with gratitude.
I am blessed to know such a love.
To have fought for such a love
To never stop fighting for that love.

People get so caught up in the act of saving the child that they miss out on the chance to love them.
We need to change the way we think about foster care and adoption.

Fost/adopting is not about bettering the life of a child.
Fost/adopting is about getting to love a child.
About that child getting to be loved.

These children do not need hero's. 
They need love.
And we need to see how lucky we are to be the ones who get to love them. 


  1. I LOVE these posts - the love you have just shines through. every tiny bit of love your boy can get is a gift that will enrich both of you.

  2. Tracey, I have looked at your blog from time to time and it's truly so meaningful and moving to see these messages about your son. Bless all of you.


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